2010 new decade! new beginning for 18 yr old Elieen!

hopes

1) stop biting nails!
2) time management! work hard study smart!
3) good gpa for year 1 which is ending soon in feb! yay!
4) save money!!
5) stop picking on pimples and blackheads making urself uglier with SCARS!
6) get dar to meet my family!

9) i slim down by 3 to 5 kg! smaller waist line, eliminate tyre!
10) get a new laptop!
11) mum has a softer and gentle voice!
12) learn to appriciate and love myself!
13) get involve in school stuff more!
14) socialize!
15) speak more english!

etcetc...i will add more

nevertheless, it's impt to note that everything is in random order


排名不分先后!!!

to begin with..
nahhh...i'm not working that midnight job anymore..
too tough...

hmm. i gonna sleep soon.
just to say...
i'm gonna have a haircut tmr..
bye~~~

$$$$

yay tmr's the last paper....it's pacc...i didn't study bcos i can't find the past yr paper which peijin printed for me....
so nvm lahh...i did my tutorials attended all lectures
being consistent every now and then..how can i not do well?? lol...being over-confident...

.
.
.
behold...
i just received a one week job. midnight job.

from tomorrow onwards till18 december, i'm embarking on the great money making journey.
will be working for 7 days and i calculated the pay.
600++ and will come in on the 21st.

plus my waitress pay which is approximately 400-500....
yay!
and my savings of 200 last month.

i can get 1000 by the end of this year!!!

yay!
i get satisfaction from work!!

so yes!
i'm busy next week!

omgosh!
someone tell me what day is it?
tmr is the start of mst..
econs sucks...
hate it hate it.

anyway before i go off to study.
was working yesterday again-,-
friday and thursday was working too.
6pm.
i'm dead tired.
i need more coffee...!!

friday met up dar during that 4 hours.
went to walk around.
and i found a weighing machine so went to weight.
55kg and 1.65m.
though it was lesser than the 59kg from dar's weighing machine, i'm still not very satisfied.

i'm not joking.
i used to be 163 and 46kg lor.
i got report book as proof.
my sec 2 record.
i hope to reduce to 50kg.

yesterday's work was not a happy one.
idk why. get kind of scolding from manager for bring a coffee cup with stains to customers.
it's very small only lah. i was very tired didn't see properly.

then on friday, i keyed in orders wrongly. a MR steak i key MW.
MR can further cook it but MW can't reverse right?
didn't get scolding lah. but they looked at me like___.
and then lamb chop!
i key the non-promotional one.
so no complimentary fruit punch. i told customer there was.
$3.50 only what. they argue till like___.
i wasn't make to pay.
but if they want me to pay, i would willingly pay lah. i'm tired seriously.

and then while clearing plates, i spill the sauce on customer.
it really accidental. and it's not a lot though.
i quickly get some wet towel for her
luckily she didn't complain.

haven't had so much fun working alrdy.

bye~!

i guess living in singapore is too well off.
we're very fortunate, i mean really. if you see, apart from being relatively free from natural disasters, we've got our basic needs, food and shelter provided.

but does that mean we will continue to enjoy this standard of living in the future?
no one knows.

seeing so much earthquakes, tsunami etc etc...i wonder when will it happen here.
indonesia is so near to singapore.
and if an earthquake struck, i want to be at home (or wherever it is) , with my family.
i don't want to be outside.
please don't get the wrong idea. i don't want a sudden death.
i have my last words with my loved ones.
i just dont want them to survive the ordeal alone.
it's not i want to pull them to hell with me.

and i'm not anticipating a death.
i hope a disaster happens and we get a whole new beautiful world again. (yes that's imaginative. but i hope i'm like the family in the 2012 movie)

therefore please don't "I thought that the people who said that they wanted death in their lifetimes didn't appreciate life as it is."

also, "there's probably no reason why you should live if you have that kind of mindset." yes. this is right. if i wanted death, i would have very much jumped off the building right now.

and again, i merely spoke 2 sentence.
clarify with me before interpreting my "this kind of mindset"

thank you.

I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL!

yay! i got D for CRS!
how good huh!!!! thank you God!
i know la. i suck.
i hate myself.

i am seriously nothing.
not talking abt academic now.
talking about myself.
i failed in almost every aspects of my life.
hate it.

forget it.
what kind of target is all 'A's??
and its almost not practical get everything above B also.
i failed.

anyway, vivian my work friend ask me to accompany her to SIA interview.
i know i won't be accepted for sure.
so haha. just go there and see how they will interview.
and see some pretty girls....

the most tiring monday!

it's 8am++ now and i'm in school. shall update my blog.
supposedly yesterday i shouldn't be working.
but i helped to do replacement and worked for 4 hrs at the very last minute.
then.............
i quarreled with dar.
i know we should celebrate belated bday.
but it's all screwed up bcos of me working.

but thankfully that he is very accomodating.
he always give in to the situation.
met him after work for around 2 hrs.
and had magnum ice cream. lol that's all.
I'M TIRED.

got my pay early.
yesyesyes!
i'm halfway to 1000.
shall work hard ELIEEN!

see i woke up 6am today, school from 8-5 and then work from 6-1030.
workaholic.
EXAM coming~~
i'm going to sacrifice sleep on tuesday night to burn midnight oil!
work hard!!
jiayou!!! you can do it.

I'M TIRED!

got an email which reflects my feeling now.
take a look!
















































haha love them all.
thanks to pei jin's email(:

it's very early now.
i had'nt been sleeping/

can god answer me if i speak to him? like talk to me in his voice?

i'm so stress! i feel like i'm a liar...
can someone lend me a listening ear?
be my aunt agony?

but the only appropriate person i feel like i can talk to is god.
bcos he has to physical mouth and won't tell others abt it.
i felt better after saying but he did not respond to me...

i just cried out of a sudden for no reason just now.
maybe too much things is clogging in my brain.
i just wanna slp till like there's no tomorrow!!

The only happy monday!

today is monday!
and this is the best monday!
i'm so happy!!
we did some project in orchard today!
got new powder, blusher and mascara from sephora!
also toner and some hydrating thing from face shop!
i just got a toner sometime ago...so i shall keep this new one in my cupboard to collect dust first.

so fun today.
orchard is not at all crowded!
at m.a.c, samson had some makeup on. haha
now you don't think make up is only a girl thing.
and i was very tempted to buy the concealer! it works really well lor!

i rmb once i had pimple then i paste plaster to school.
wah lau eh....
dun wanna do it again.
to think back it's really retarded.
must always get prepared now.
haha so should i buy?

anyway, my sister told me she's gonna bring me to butter factory tmr
i told my yvonne sister i'm not going out tmr night alrdy.
got school...so tired

so sad right?? it's my bday...my bf is in camp
last year, also in camp...

just now he called me.
he tell me sunday bring me out.
then i told him i don't like belated one.
haha i'm just trying to irritate him...then he "haizzz"

he's always in camp. so i'm always having school having work....fair ma.

anyway, hope he faster come out of camp and work to earn a lot of money.
then i no need school and work liao.

haha show u my bday cake here


dun say i'm childish.
cos my baby brother says he like doreamon.
hahaa so i wanna make him happy.
why is there only one candle?


if you knw me, i dun like to put age candles. too ugly and wasteful


only 1 will do...
bcos i am getting a year older.
and a year more wiser
a year more intelligence!
it describes me better ya?

HAPPY BDAY TO ERNY TAN!!! and ADVANCED TO MYSELF!

this is a new photo taken when i'm about to meet dar on his bday 2 days ago.
and i edited it using a software my sister intro-ed me to.
it's quite useful to brighten it.
and then i used powerpint to add my name.
it's very obvious from the quality of my photo that the canon logo isn't real.
but isn't the software cutee? i can even add this kinda stuff there.

dar's bday is just like a normal day out to me.
i don't know.
just went to have express teppanyaki set with fish oyster scallop steak and vegs.
was very full even though it's not a big portion.
and then went to watch 2012.
it looks so real man. it's the story of noah's ark right?
evan almighty is the comedy one. this is action haha.

and then he got to go back to his camp:(
said 'Goodbye to u!'
and happy 22nd birthday!

coincidentally, yesterday, 19 nov was my parents' 22nd anniversary.
22nd year.
they don't even know how many years was it lor.
they say 1987.
then i can tell them "22" straight away bcos dar is born one day before their marriage lols.

what esle can i thought of when i come across 22?
this month is 11 and on the day 11 we celebrated our 22nd(11+11) month anni too!

and not to forget, bestie's bday is 22 too!
never had i felt so closely related to numbers.
___________________________________________________________
THOUGHT OF THE DAY.

anyway my bday is 4 days from now.
i did feel grown up after 17 years.
i not sure if u did but i hope u did.

this special day, i will only like to spent time with my family.
bcos i can only have this day bcos of them.
like what my sister yvonne says that "family is the only reliable source of support"
i have to admit. sometimes, i'm unhappy with them.
and dar will know it cos' he hears me complaining a lot about my family.

but i've reached my 17.
when my parents has stop shouting at me every now and then.
when they stop interrogate me upon what am i doing.
when i stop depending on them for living, for everything i want. (at least 3/4 of it)
i complain much lesser now.
so, is it time to rewind and reflect on myself?

at least they're responsible.
they didn't born me to live in hunger or maybe born me and throw me away in the forest.

my mum always tell me i'm an accident. my two younger bros too.
bcos i'm born so close with my sister.
(she was pregnant again after few months giving birth to my sis)
and they even thought of aborting me as they're afraid they might not be able to take care 2 kids tgt with the given time and financial situation.

if i were them i would probably have given up one child lor.
like when my dad just started doing business with no stable income and my mum not working.
and then 2 kids 17 months apart?
and only 24 and 27 yrs old?

i don't care that they born me with so many flaws.
i'm starting to appreciate them.
not forgeting my sister too.
we really grew up together and had really crazy times.

i rmb how i used to hide with her in the washing machine


how we used to use casset tapes to play dominoes

how much ice we threw on the floor and on each other after coming back from snow city and ice-staking


and how we dress up my 'then' younger brother with dresses to look like girl
[no pics sry>.<]

after so much rantings, i just wanna thanks my parents and siblings for giving me an enjoyable 17 years.

and lastly, i can't wait to reach 18!!!

i hasn't really much slept. now 5am alrdy.
nothing is done.

you know what.
i'm dragging myself each day.
i hate life.
to say the truth, i love to work as compared to school.
what now.
i have so many things undone.
just feel like putting it to the last minute.
maybe i should skip school on friday to finish up everything.
i tried to do MOB. but i failed.
sucks.
i am envying those o level students enjoying their life right now.
and half year break.
aw. i need some motivation!!

i'm totally at lost.
lost to the race against time.
i just wanna slp till the end of time.

22nd Anniversary!

Hello! accordingly, i should meet my dar after 3pm. bcos on 22nd anni, he has got leave.
but guess what.
3 hours of break. wanted to study for freaking economics yet i didn't bring it to study.
how smart!
had totally nothing to do, alone somemore.
so i skipped gems lesson.


(he's yawning at the same time sorting out his hair)

went to tampines.
had our lunch at cheeze.
i had baked rice and dar had beef pasta.
well, the mains are not really fab.


so we had cheesecakes!
last time we had bailey rush.
this time mine's nutty caramel white chocolate (if i'm right)
and dar's rocky road.
cake is nice.
service staff are friendly.

after which, we intended to watch show.
was thinking of jennifer's body but nah.
i want to watch 2012. coming out tmr.
it's pretty interesting to watch the prediction and i'm not at all scared of doomsday.

thus, we forgone the whole idea of watching movie.
went home and drank bacardi.
very nice and refreshing! shiok ahahaaha


P.S you know what? i love my phone camera. bcos it's so blur that it can't capture my flaws- especially a pimple! so i need not photoshop blemishes

WEIGHT ISSUE
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!
i do not have a weighing machine at home.
it has been a thousand years since i last weighed myself.
this time, i broke my very own personal record.
hereby, i declare i'm 59kg.

it's a kitchen weighing machine with needle scale
so i'm not sure how accurate it is.
i'm taken aback seriously.
can you believe? 1 more kilo to the big 60.
pple was complimenting that i got thinner.
but the scale don't lie.

i don't lie about my own weight. shall stop living in self deinal and face the reality.
hence, pratical actions has to be made.

3 rules to discipline myself.
1. no food after 9
2. no fast food
3. no chocolates and ice cream

year end is stress to me!

omg. halfway through the term alrdy.

i want to study the whole night tday.

can i do it?

till 6am-my target.

and then slp till 8.30am

school at 10 am tmr.

give me luck to fulfill! thanks!

whees! was working ytd too.

and the xmas tree is up at suntec alrdy!

same one. lol.

so fast uh.

i miss my holidays!!

btw i have an upcoming project. IDEA.

i don't like it lor.

need to go 3 places and rate service.

lame. what the tcher says is right.

ask me do a project i rather go eat smth.

rating service is alright.

i hate doing power point slides.

i'm a lazy ass.

i had CRS ca1 tday.

was like tongue tied lah.

didn't said what i planned.

Giny also.

for a moment, we couldn't link what we said back to the article.

guess must be i don't have enough ez-link cards (-,- lame i know)

forget it.

i vow to speak more english from today onwards.

not so much to improve language skills but to improve communication skills. haha.

CRS and IDEA is only 2 credit units anyway. shan't think too much abt it.

i should focus on econs more. (4 times more heavier weightage)

i dun wanna stuck with a C though i'm pretty glad i passed it.

anyway.

tmr i'm having business maths lesson.

at some point in time,

i feel like giving up dip plus.

maths requires a lot of practice.

i sec school, they go so slow that you have so much time to practice.

but i dun have so much time practicing maths question.

can i do it? idk

argh. no! Elieen pls persevere!

i need some motivation!

life without you

hello! guess what.
i'm in school now.
still, deciding if i should go for gem lesson.

just finished my spss test.
it's extremely ridiculous to ask us compute the month when i don't think we were taught to!
i don't like stats!

i thought to myself probably it's the longest period i haven't meet dar.
it's been a month.
and the next meet up with him is on his bday 18 nov.
planned ahead. lols.

MONDAY 2.30pm-CRS CA1

it's very stressful to be a woman.
can u define beautiful for me?
is fat=ugly?
and who says face must be flawless to be nice?
why must pretty girls have a fair complexion?
dark coloured=ugly?

i'm trying so hard....shall just give up.

was working for over the weekends.
and after next week, i'm not working anymore.
i hope i can save 1k by end of this year.
which is very hard and quite impossible bcos year end is like, NEXT MONTH??!
and school has started.

o. by the way, i came across XX's blog.
i didn't really like or dislike her.
but i totally nod my head to the post on photographers.
i'm on the same side as her. i am jealous too!
why do they like to photographers like to take pictures of lingerie models?
i like this quote "If they are so interested in photography, then why don't they shoot other things such as... family portraits, close-up shots of a fly's eyes, a droplet of water dropping into a pool of water etc etc other artsy fartsy nonsense? "

just reached home.
had gems lesson just now.
and guess what.
the lecturer now uses chinese! lol.
abit cheem lor his chinese.

anyway, my maths is now like____.
haven't been doing maths for like 18,000 years? ( P.S gems tchers says chinese like to say
一万八千年)
not quite right actually.
did some simple arithmetic maths for accounting what haha.
but it's algebra that i can't do now.
was doing business maths and guess what.
i can't even rmb how to solve a quadratic eqn.
laughs. to think i had A for o lvl?
joke ah.
so stress'''-_-'''

shine after rain

Back from my grandma bday.
i feel so full and dare not slp haha.
bcos i want to digest it first as i'm afraid that i might gain weight!!

anyway, I really hate a manager down at my workplace.
i told him i just want to ask if i can take leave, not MUST.
if can't then it's alright.
btw, taking leave is not applicable to part-timers bcos we can't claim money for mc to see doc.
but i'm not asking for that.
if he say can, i think there isn't a need to tell everybody that i'm having grandma's bday and i called super early in the morning...etc etc...
i hate to trouble pple. if he told me can then why he has to ask auntie to extend? esp she's old enough, i do hope she can take a rest.
yes, i wrote that i want to work full tday. but who can i blame for a last minute notice??
that's why i just ask if it's possible.
HYPOCRITE. and all his vulgar words...i hate to work with him.
and he always give me a not-happy-with-me face.
i think i need to find a better job...

this aside.
i took picture of my grandma but i need to wait for my lazy yvonne sister for the pics.
so i shall just throw in some random thoughts.


this picture is taken on one of my last few days in yt school.
i rmb there was 2 rainbows aross the school building.
i love rainbows. and the best thing is that it always comes after rain.
it's already one year passed.
did O lvls and i thought my mugging and stressul life would be gone.
but the next wave just came and hit unexpectedly on me again and again.
CRS lesson i was asked "what motivated you to come to sp?"
my motivation comes from myself. i force myself.
sometimes the workload and exams kills me. i really feel like giving up, or maybe change course.
but i thought, if i couldn't do well here, what makes me able to do well if i change?
if i can't excel in sch, what makes me able to excel in work?
just ytd, i knw that i got C for econs.
it was expected bcos i lost ard 20 marks with the whole table undone.
i just couldn't help but blame myself for my own stupidity.
but i think i shall just pick it up and move on.
looking at this rainbow somehow just tells me to be strong.
haah.
there's always gonna be another mountain
i'm always gonna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes i gonna have to lose.....
haha it's the climb.

EDITED
here are the pictures.


when nobody was around.


Yvonne and me




see my table is white cloth?? and others red?
yes you guessed it.
vegetarian table.
so many good things i'm deprived of.



happy birthday(:

handmade cake by my aunt.
haha if i know how to bake cake, i'll do it for my mum too.

new innovation

i've spent nearly 4 hours on this zbrush software!!
trying to figure out how to use. but really i can't get my hands on this things.
get the fact right first.
i'm a business student, not a design student.
and i still can't get the link why i need to design a new product.
there're many other ways of exploring and enhancing my creativity.


btw, i saved it, but it can't open.
so i need to redraw-,-
so pek cek!!!

product of 4 hrs work.



back view. at one glance, you'd know it's a tree.
yes. i did what the tcher said. draw and darw and figure out what could your drawings be.
i drew and drew, and notice it looked like a tree so i sprayed green and dark brown lols.

and then i thought that the branches could be used to hang accessories...ur earrings etc.
so i thought mirror comes hand in hand with it.
that's why i flatten the front and spray it white.

side view. so ugly i know.


the front.

my sister says it's very ugly
and not innovative enough.
aha. first time uh.
2 weeks more before presenting.
but i'm very kiasu bcos i'll be working so don't have much time.
i'll try drawing and think of smth again if time permits k.
hope someone give me new ideas.
thanks!